Example: ” if you roll your eyes at me one more time today, you will be grounded”

And I was then grounded, because I would always roll my eyes

Example: ” While you are grounded, if you ask to do any privileged that has been taken away, I will add an additional week to your grounding”

I asked to go to a football game that Friday. THEREFORE- I received an additional week PLUS one for rolling my eyes.

Apparently I was stupid as a teenager.

Thanks Mom for all of the discipline. I know I deserved most of it.

This man has a daughter that wrote this horribly disrespectful rant on facebook…the then posted his response on HER facebook wall. Watch the first 2 minutes, then the last minute.

***** Warning- there is some bad language********

Dear future child- Take note.

I will take a .45 to your computer….without hesitation.

I will ground you and only leave your bed, light, dresser, and alarm clock in your room.

I will take away your phone and car- even if it inconveniences me- and probably make you wait for me until I am ready to come get you.

If you steal from someone, I am not above making you walk around our neighborhood wearing a sandwich board sign that reads” I stole from you. I am sorry”

I promise to love you with my entire being and work hard everyday to make sure you know that you are God’s gift to me.

I promise that me disciplining you ( I PROMISE) will make you be a better adult and human being in general.

But you hear stories.  Some make you laugh, some make you think of alternative ways you may be able to get the baby out of you, and some just make you cringe.

Well, yesterday one of these moments happened to me.

Usually, I get up once a night to go to the bathroom. This is definitely a pregnancy thing. I never woke up FOR ANYTHING before the baby.

Week 18 has been different. Not only have I not been getting up every night, I have not been as hungry…weird.

Anywho, I woke up Sunday morning and went straight to the kitchen to get The Hubs  some coffee.  Once I had been vertical for about two minutes, I knew I had to pee, but wanted to wait until I got the coffee ready.

I was doing the pee pee dance, but all was fine.

And then I sneezed.

I peed  on myself.

I’m not talking a little squirt.

I am saying my bladder emptied in that one second sneeze.

I SCREAM as I feel it pouring down my legs.

As soon as I scream and start running to the bathroom, I know my husband is thinking the worst. Something has happened to the baby. My wife has burned herself. There is a giant roach.

So to ease his mind. I yell, “ IT’S OK! I JUST PEED ALL OVER MYSELF! Oh, you need to get your own coffee!”

Sure enough, instead of him just lying there and letting me fix the problem. He got up just in time to watch me wash the pee off my legs.

What a way to start off the day.

Some are way too vulgar. Some are way too funny.

Here is the one that has been passed around my office today.

My co-worker, Daniel, suggested I do a Stuff Pregnant Girls Say….

BOOM. DONE.

Please feel free to add your own to the comments section.

• OMG Is that a stretch mark?
• Can you see my bump yet?
• Did you say pickles? Can I have one?
• My baby is the size of a bell pepper.
• It’s definitely a boy. I can just feel it.
• I had the craziest dream last night.
• How does my bump look in this?
• My boobs are huge! I love it.
• If you light that cigarette, I will punch you in your face.
• I want Chinese.
• We aren’t finding out the gender because we think it’s the biggest surprise God could give us.
• I can’t see my feet.
• We are finding out the gender because it’s a surprise if we find out now or a surprise later.  It’s still a surprise.
• Was that a  kick?
• Did you just see my shirt move? It was the baby.
• Lets get pizza.
• I feel like such a cow.
• Ugh! This child wants to do gymnastics while I sleep!
• My baby is the size of your head.
• My first one was nothing like this. Its definitely a girl.
• I just hope it’s healthy, but I’ve already bought blue paint for the nursery.
• Do you have any watermelon?
• My prenatal yoga instructor is all belly. I hate her.
• My sister looked like she swallowed a basketball! Why am I so huge?
• What if its twins?
• I just have to have a new dress for the shower.
• BUT I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH!

Today’s color is blue.

Blue because the hubs and i fell in love with a house, placed a bid and then another buyer swooped in and paid CASH +10k.

I’m super bummed…and quite blue about it.

Earlier I told you I learned to knit from YouTube.

This is a completely accurate statement.

This is my latest creation.  A scarf for my mom!

I made scarves for lots of people at Christmas, but I wanted to make a really special one for my mom. This meant she would be the last to receive her present.

I got to say, this was my most meticulous scarf, but definitely the prettiest.

In the works now, is a baby blanket for Baby Chase and then 3 more after that. Everyone I know is popping kids out!

I love TV.

And I admit, I love some shows that make me feel a little dirty after I watch them.

Grey’s Anatomy

Oh how I love this show.  It all started when I lived with Erin F. in college and she had all the seasons on DVD.  I was hooked.

I love the DRAMA. I love the love triangles and sometimes octagons , the fights, the disappointments, the medical mysteries.

I love that after all these seasons Greys can totally shock me!

Its amazing that I cry almost every episode. I’m serious.

Christina Yang is my favorite and I think she may be a horrible person. What is wrong with me?!

For you Grey’s fans- I hear Derek is going to become a lesser character. HOW? WHY? NO!

Another fun fact- most Thursdays, my sister and I have a little Greys date night. We text through the whole thing while both watching Greys. The Hubs thinks this is crazy.

Pretty Little Liars

This show will never win any awards or anything,  and if I had a teenage daughter, I would NEVER let her watch this.

However, it drives me crazy that I can’t figure it out. I am a grown woman. WHO IS A?! Who?

The mystery is so intense.

Belly Question: What is your guilty pleasure?

This is my car.

It’s not really that old, it just feels and acts that way.

The Silver Fox and myself have a love/hate relationship.

I love that it gets me from point A to point B…most of the time.

I love that air works…most of the time.

I love that it has a little keyless entry thing…I mean, I am super high class with that thing.

I love that it doesn’t cost me a fortune fill her up.

I love that the tires are new…one less thing to worry about.

I hate that random things break on it…often.

I hate that every time I shampoo and clean it, it gets itself dirty all over again.

I hate that when I turn the air on, the car has to pause and think about if it wasn’t to run and cool me at the same time.

I hate that at any moment, the whole thing could just stop working!

I hate that this is the third Sentra I have owned.I also have has 3 Saturns. I am consistent.

Belly Question: Do you love or hate your car?

I love Elvis Presley.

Top 10 Reasons I love Elvis Presley

1. He made some great  music

• My bridesmaids walked down the aisle to Love Me Tender…I’m serious.
• I was singing Devil in Disguise before I was five.
• I always wanted a little sister so I could sing the song Little Sister to her

2. He had amazing hair

• It was jet black and wavy. It looks like you run your fingers though it and feel the same as a well groomed collie.

3. Young Elvis looks just like my Grandaddy when he was in high school.

• This is really where my love began.

4. He had some daring style

• Gold lame suit
• Jump Suits
• Fringe
• Karate outfits

5. He loved Jesus…even if he showed it a little like a crazy person

6. He was incredibly generous

• He donated $100k to a charity every Christmas
• He paid for 3+ weddings
• He paid a mortgage on a stranger’s house because he gave him a dime to make a phone call
• He gave like 50 Cadillac’s away to friends, family and strangers

7. He sings my most favorite song in the world, Amazing Grace…and he does an amazing job.

8. He loved Tennessee

9. He was a Momma’s boy

• There are a lot of stories about  he worshiped his mom and when Gladys died, Elvis was never the same

10. He brings my mom and me together!

• We went on a great girls trip in 2010 to Graceland. It was the first time for both of us and it was so much fun. Don’t get me wrong, if you don’t like Elvis you wont be impressed….but we LOVE him!
• We have an Elvis Christmas  Tree

I had this whole post ready about of I am not a big sentatmental person, so I don’t really think that many things are sweet. I  was planning 10 Things that were Sa-WEET! as an awesome.

Then last night happened.

My sister’s second child was due at the end of Feb, but because of  some medical stuff they scheduled her C-Section for Feb 8th.

BUT…..

Yesterday, a whole different set of things happened and my sweet nephew came.

Meet Chase Thomas, 6lbs, 2 oz.

My sister had to have surgery and loss some blood, but she and baby Chase are doing good.

Let me also say, this kid came about 6 weeks early and already weighed 6 pounds. He would have been the size of  small car if he waited until full term to arrive.

Not many things make me sentimental, but knowing I have another nephew in the world, who went through a little scariness to get here…..is so so so sweet.

Yes, I am tearing just thinking of it.

Welcome to the world Chase. You are already loved so so so much.

I’m not a major spender.

I love a good sale, a BOGO will stop me in my tracks, and a coupon will make me crumble.

But  today I spent  60 cents on this fantastic Coca Cola Classic.

Out of the vending machine, its almost slushy.

So. Good.

The caffeine from this beautiful can will give me energy and eliminate my headache.

Side Note: No I did not purchase the Elvis coozie today, but my sodas at work know their home is in the King’s coozie.