The Kazoo Incident

Day  174

iMOM has a tool called the Meanest  Mom pledge.  It is basically a tongue in cheek way  of saying ” I do all these ‘mean’ things because I love you. Get over it”

Well my mom could have been the inspiration for this pledge.

When I was about four,  I went to a birthday party that gave away kazoos as a parting gift.  As you can imagine I loved my new musical instrument and played it ALL DAY..for the next two days.

(this part is my mom’s version)

I played it all day and she was at her wits end and said, “Please stop playing that” . Five minutes later I was kazooing away! She said again, ” Please stop playing that”.  Five minutes later,  I started again..

About to lose her mind, she said, ” IF YOU PLAY THAT KAZOO ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO THROW IT IN THE FIRE PLACE!”

I am four years old! I have the attention span of a fruit fly! This is the part I start remembering.

I start to play the kazoo.

BAMB!

My mother was as quick as lighting – she  snapped that kazoo out of my mouth and threw it into the fireplace.

I remember standing there in shock and the tears began to well up. I turned to run away and cry somewhere, but…

MY MOTHER MADE ME STAND THERE AND WATCH IT BURN!

I could have gotten a kazoo scholarship.  Maybe I wanted to go to Clown School and this could have been my leg up. ..Ruined. RUINED MOTHER!

That was 21 years ago, and to this day when I doubt my mother will act on a threat, she always reminds me of the kazoo.

She always said what she meant and meant what she said.

Belly Question: How did your mother scar you?

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2 thoughts on “The Kazoo Incident

  1. hahahaha, awwwwww!!!! i’m sure you would have had SUCH a successful career as a professional “kazoo-er”. clearly though, that wasn’t the plan ~ you were supposed to meet kyle, and we all know that wouldn’t have happened if you had been a professional “kazoo-er” because you would have been WAY too important to attend a minor league game. 🙂

    when i was little, or rather “young”…(i was never little when i was young, i was always chunky/portly/big boned/or any other word for fat)…regradless, mom had made us fishsticks for lunch. it was me, her, & ralphie. well she made them, left them on the table (where i was sitting) and then went to get ralphie dressed before they ate. um, she left a plate of fishsticks (to feed 3), in front of a little fat girl. hello?? i ate them all. she came back in the room and yelled “YOU ATE ALL THE D*** FISHSTICKS!” yup, bleeped that darn word out for you 🙂

    regardless, to this day i #1, i don’t eat fishsticks, and #2, i eat very slowly & timidly when at social gatherings where bowls of food are out ~ for fear someone will yell “YOU ATE ALL THE ______”. i’d rather go home famished then have to experience that again.

    it’s still a long standing joke with my parents & naturally my mother DOES NOT remember.

  2. You left out the story about the Homecoming Parade, (or was it the Christmas parade), when you were in high school where you and your “friends” all walked in the parade with kazoos!!! You all walked around the corner and BLASTED ME !!! I believe that was payback…and once again….I’m so sorry my actions “scarred you for life”….however, all I can say is “Point made”…I love you so much. You too will remember this and teach your children a similar lesson some day!
    Mom

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