Hello my sweet girl. I am writing you this letter on June 15, 2012. You are scheduled to come into this world in 19 days! I cannot tell you how excited I am to have you out of my belly and in my arms.
I can’t wait to see your little face. Kiss your lips, toes, fingers, arms, legs, eyes, ears, palms, neck, belly, feet, back and any every other inch of skin you have! What will you look like? Will you have your Papa’s green eyes? Will you have my dark hair? You aren’t even here yet and you already have me melting with love.
You are still in my belly right now, but because you are getting closer to arrival your head is already down. In this position, I can see your little butt poke out. You love sitting on the left side of my tummy. Yesterday I woke up because you had the hiccups! Isn’t it funny you can have the hiccups before you even are born? It felt like a thump, thump,thump…like an adult heartbeat…not a fast baby heartbeat. Sometimes when you move around, my stomach looks like a little earthquake because you make it shake so much. As much as I can’t wait to see your face, I have loved carrying you for these last 9 months. Know that this is the only time I never had to share you with anyone. I got to hold you every second of every day. Even though your Papa will tell you I complained…I secretly loved taking care of you and not sharing you. YOU ARE ALL MINE RIGHT NOW!
Did you know that we prayed for you for many many months? We wanted a baby so badly, but the Lord wanted us to wait. When He thought it was the right time, He created you by mixing a little of Papa and me together. By the time you read this, we won’t even remember what life was like before we had a baby Bethany. And we won’t want to remember either. You have already changed our world, and once you get here…everything will change in an even greater way!
Bethany- I love you.
I love you so much. Your Papa and I will always protect you. We will always snuggle with you. We will always try to show you the “best for you”path. We will let you make mistakes. We will always pick you back up when you do fail. We will show you how the Lord forgives. We will show you how the Lord loves. We will fail miserably as parents more than once. We will be your biggest fans and your cheerleaders. Your Papa is the spiritual leader in our home and he will guide you until it is time to pass you to another man who can take care of you as well as he can.
I promise to pray for you everyday.
I promise to pray for your heart. That it will be open to the Holy Spirit and you will make the decision to love the Lord with your whole being. That you will see people through His eyes and not through the worlds. I pray that no matter where you are in your life that you never feel alone because God is living in His temple that is your soul. I pray that you abide in Him and only find rest and peace though Him. I pray that you learn that no one…me, Papa, grandparents, friends or boys will never satisfy you the way Jesus will.
I pray for your heart in a different way too. I pray that you will be open to love one day. I pray that you will have your heart broken once so you can appreciate the amazing love that comes when you find your husband. I am praying for your husband right now….its crazy isn’t it? I know the Lord has prepared a man for you to marry. Is he in his momma’s tummy right now too? I pray that you will find a husband that will lead you spiritually the way that your Papa has led me. I pray for a husband that loves you for all of your little quirks. I pray for a husband that loves to hear your laughter so much he will tickle you just to hear the sound of your smile. I pray that your husband will respect you as the daughter of God you are. I also pray that you will respect your husband more than any other man in your world…even your father. I pray that you will learn that submission is not a bad word or an act that makes you weak. Don’t let the world and our culture tell you in order to be a strong woman you must be a rule breaker and disrespectful to both men and women (young and old) around you.
I pray that you will be smart. I pray that school will not be a hard struggle for you. I pray that you do not feel expectations from anyone else that are unreasonable or unattainable. Bethany, if school is hard for you, It’s ok.. You have MANY MANY years of school to go through and we will support you and stand by you though all of them.
I pray that your confidence does not come from the applauding of other people. That you feel confident in yourself because of your character, not because of accomplishments, trophies, grades, popularity, or titles.
I pray that you will be safe and protected. The Lord knows how many hairs you have on your head and he knows how many days you will be on this earth. I hope you have many more days than you have hair. As a worrier I know I will battle with the “what ifs” of your future and safety. I know that I will need to give you up. I will need to come to a resting place that you are not my child forever. I am only borrowing you. You are His and His will will be done no matter what. As scary as that is, I am praying for ME in this. I don’t want to be a controlling mother who is so scared of the what could happens that I am too scared to live life with you.
Bethany, your whole life you will be showered with love. You will be spanked. You will be kissed. You will be grounded. You will hugged. You will disciplined. You will be spoiled. You will be the light (one of the lights) of my and Papa’s world. You will always be a princess in our eyes.
There is nothing you can ever do to make me love you more.
There is nothing you can ever do to make me love you less.
You are mine and I will always be your mother.
I will always love you,