For the Working Moms

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I saw this posted on Facebook and it seriously moved me to tears.

My heart aches everyday when I leave Bethany, but I know the Lord has placed me here for this season.

If you are a working mom, I hope it makes you feel better. At the very least, just to know someone feels just like you do.

You are no less and no more than the mothers who get to stay home. God did not give them a pass and you a punishment. You do not need to apologize for the fact that you work. You do not need to be embarrassed.

~Lisa-Jo Baker

http://lisajobaker.com/2013/01/grace-for-the-working-mother-and-her-guilt/

I Had a Baby: The Story of My Labor and Delivery

All leading up to delivery I was wondering if I would know when I was in labor? Would my water break? If so, would it be like a flood, a trickle, or would I just pee on myself ( as usual at 9 months pregnant)  and not know the difference?  Or would I need to be induced? What does that even mean? Is it just hook me up to the meds or do they actually have to break my water (eek)?

Well this is what happened:

Wednesday (June 27th) I went for my 39 week appointment. No change. I was still the same 1.5cm dilated as I had been for three dang weeks.  I asked the doctor “ So would you be just completely shocked if I had my baby this weekend” Her response, “ I mean you’re 39 weeks pregnant….but, honestly, don’t plan your weekend around it.” Great.

They then set my next appointment for July 5th….the DAY AFTER my due date.

I am super bummed when I leave the appointment. Mainly, I just want this kid out of me. Now…actually last week.  I am so over being pregnant.

That night we have a youth group bonfire. My first thought as I get out of the car for the bonfire is “ who has a freaking bonfire in Florida in June?” I love our youth kids, but lets be honest: I was only there for the S’mores.

We ended up having a great time and I ended up having 5 smores. I was alone for a about 10 minutes, so it may have been  closer to 10 smores. But if no one was looking, I don’t think those counted.

Anywho.

I woke up twice that night to go to the bathroom…and not my usual #1. I remember thinking that was super weird since I never do that, much less twice.

At 2:30am I get the same urge. I get to the toilet and see my panty liner is completely  wet and tinted pink. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I hear the hubs come back into the bedroom and I say “ ummmmmm. I think my water may have broken.”

His response, “ Why? Why would it do that?”

At first I think he meant to ask me why I think that my water broke. I later realize he wants to know why my water that the audacity to break at 2:30 in the morning. Love him.

I decide I have no idea what I am talking about and we should just lay in bed. If it broke contractions should follow, right?

Then, I felt a little something….alot like my urge to go poop.

What do I know? I’ve never had contractions and aren’t they supposed to be in my pelvis?

Then it happens again. The Hubs and I are starting to get excited. I call the OB office and tell the nurse I THINK I am having contractions that are 6 minutes apart…and I THINK my water broke.

After 20 minutes of my husband trying not to be a crazy person and me trying not to laugh at his shock that we are having a baby…we call my mom and head to the hospital.

Oh wait…. No, we went to McDonalds.

We pull into the drive thru and The Hubs says” I’d like a #1 with Coke and a small coke too. MY WIFE IS IN LABOR! I’m HAVING A BABY TONIGHT”

We receive “ please drive to your first window”

I get my fries and am feeling good. The Hubs puts to Goyte  Somebody That I Used To Know on. That is totally our Jam. And let me tell you, I am Jamming! Then a contraction hits…and it is not as nice as the last one.

5 minutes apart.

I put the fries down.

We get to the hospital  and I realize I look like an idiot. I have my towel wrapped around me like a diaper. While in the lobby the trickle if turned in to s flow if you will.

They get me into a L&D room. Weigh me ( I don’t look at the number). Check to see if my water is actually broken…because the flood running down my leg may be something else, right?

Contractions are starting to get a little more intense.

I had a super sweet nurse. After we get all checked in and settled, I very kindly tell her “ Just so you know, I will want an epidural. I don’t need one right now, but I WILL  want one. So could you make sure there is a doctor around for that?”

Half hour later I ask the nurse what time shift change is and she says 7:30am. I say, “ About that epidural, can you right that down or something for the next shift? Its really important.”

7:30am I am feeling the contractions. They have checked me twice and told me I am 2cm dilated. Not cool.

They give me morphine for the pain….it doesn’t phase it….at all.

8:00am T he Hubs is starving  so he runs to the cafeteria. He knows I am in major pain but at 2 cms this show isn’t happening for a while.

8:05am I ask for an epidural. I am in the worst pain of my life. It feels like something is trying to escape from my back. I thought this pain was supposed to be in my pelvis? Ohhhh this is back labor.  Ohhh it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get the epidural, the doctor was talking the whole time about sticking the four foot needle in my back, but all I was thinking was  SHUT UP AND DO IT ALREADY!

I had to make it through two more hellish contractions and then……sweet relief.

Oh thank you Jesus.  I went from the worst pain of my life to no pain.

Three minutes later….I start feeling twinges. I mean its not pain but I am watching the monitor and I can see these twinges are contractions.  Um…..what?

I ask the nurse about this. My fear is that the meds were going to wear off in the 8 hours I probably have left in labor. I kinda panic.

She says, “ Just push the refill button and I will check your progress after I put in your catheter”

So she checks me.

Her face goes from thinking to OH CRAP.

“ You are fully dilated. You are having this baby. Um, since you can’t feel anything why don’t you take a nap?”

What? A Nap?  Lady, you just told me I was having a baby.

9:45- The doc and team come in. We start pushing. At least I think I am pushing. I can’t feel anything….ANYTHING. I can’t feel a single thing. At one point I kinda laugh and the Hubs thinks I maybe loosing it. I laughed because I think its ridiculous that I am pushing out a kid and could be sleeping right through it.

Side Note: Almost half way though the delivery the Hubs says “ So when is a good time to ask about a paternity test?” hi-larious.

The nurses looked at him like he was crazy. I laughed.

10:15- Bethany Carolyn is born with a head full of hair!

I cry with release that I am not pregnant, that my  baby is here, that she is breathing. Though my tears I tell her how much I already love her, how many prayers I have said for her and how I will always be proud of her.

I have a baby.

I am a mother.

 

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For Your Viewing Pleasure

I have been Googling ways to induce labor. I am not quite ready to start these, the dancing the baby into the birth canal seemed pretty hilarious…and I was right.

There are only 6 words in this song and one is not something you want your kids saying…however….she is rocking….I mean J-Lo as a fly girl…rocking.

I love a lady who loves some choreography.

You are welcome.

Sad Moments

Day 94

A few months a ago I saw someone who used to work at my office. She has one little boy that is super cute, healthy and rambunctious. She told me she and her husband were expecting, but it was so early they had no idea when it was due.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I saw her today, and asked “So when are you due?”

 Her response was, ” Oh, we lost it…again. The doctors say we can’t have any more children.”

I was shocked, sad ,and a little embarrassed. The worst part was, she answered as if she were telling me her parents flight got delayed a couple days.

Obviously this was her way of coping. No judgment from me.

How many times had she and her husband miscarried? How did she get to the point that she can talk about it without crying? Does having a sweet healthy child help? How many miscarriages do you have before your faith waivers?

When she told us about her miscarriage, my co-worker said, ” God can answer prayers in unique ways.” Her response was a dull, ” He hasn’t yet.”

Ouch.

I think when you are trying to get pregnant you know the possibility of a miscarriage is there. I can’t imagine the pain a couple must feel.

There’s really no point to this post, just praying that God holds all mothers a little closer during hard, hard times. He really does have a plan and it is (for me) ALWAYS hard to step into the unknown of that plan.

I’m so joyful that God knows me, my husband, and my un-conceived children.

 For you mothers that have felt this hurt – I’m sorry.

Belly Question – Will you pray for a mother that has had a miscarriage?

I’m Alive!

Day 79

When I started this blog last year I only made a few posts. As I started writing I wanted to make sure my writing wasn’t whiny or repetitive since I am only covering one subject. And honestly…not much is happening in the baby making world. How many times can you really say “Not preggers yet!”

So let me go a different direction….

From Day 17 to  Day 79

  • I have stopped researching special tricks to get pregnant…doing the candlestick pose after sex is hilarious. I even asked The Hubs to do it with me once!
  • I have stopped eating like I am pregnant…just in case I might be. This was when I knew I was getting pregnant obsessed and I missed sushi.   
  • We have told a few special people that we are trying to have a baby…but still no family knows. 
  • The Hubs and I are still  looking for seminaries, however we are now in the narrowing down stage.

Belly Question: How has God blessed you in the last 62 days?